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some days were born for bubbles

if only bringing a smile to their faces could always be this simple

Higher Ground

This poem was emailed to me today via my subscription to mothering magazine. It brought a smile to my face after a long morning of rotating in the mirror like a pregnant ballerina and staring at the oddity which is my mid-section. I hope that mothers will find a smile, women will find power, and dads and dads-to-be discover a new found admiration for their loves misshapen or stretched form.

Higher Ground
I Wear My Stretchmarks Like Tattoos

to show

I am a woman

whose belly has billowed

a mainsail on a pirate ship

on its way to treasure

a queen-size-bed topsheet

on a new clothesline in March

they make

silver parentheses

around my freckled navel

tiny river tributaries

from the cold spring of my joy

pattern rising to the touch

like fired-rice-grain china

and oh

the way the sunlight catches

above my hipline skirts

when the music births itself again

and I start moving I start

moving and with my daughter

dance


Katharyn Howd Machan

Slip, Slide, and Laundry

Last night, while Ella was sleeping soundly in the house, we started a riot! We took Aeden and Sydney to the side yard, and we set up the slip and slide. I can remember how much fun they were when I was younger. They seemed to never be quite long enough, but yet every drop of water was more refreshing than the last. I remember being timid at first. Then, I would eventually allow myself to run at full sprint, dive, and stop after eating a face full of mud. There is no pleasure quite like that of a slip and slide on a scorching day.

Our evening was all giggles and drenched clothing. When they weren't sliding, they were trying to drink water out of the fountain part that keeps the track wet. It was absolute hysteria, and I loved every wrinkly-toed minute of it.

I wish that I could say that today was all giggles too, but unfortunately there's work to be done. I'm trying to spruce things up for our impending move. Maybe I'm an unrealistic dreamer, but I'd really like to be prepared when GOD gives us the green light. There is another meeting today in regards to the future of our dream home. So maybe all of this busy work is just me trying to occupy my anxious-Millie-Bassett-lip-chewing tendencies.

Today I am tackling the laundry area. It's ugly, but then again I've seen few laundry rooms that make me go, "WOW!" for any reason other than function (or super shiny appliances!) I'd like to show you before and after pics, but it's not all that exciting. It's two cupboards, a laundry rod, a washer, and a dryer. There isn't room for anything else, and I'm doing nothing more than organizing.

Now that spring is in the air, what projects are you chomping at the bit to complete?

And Then There Is You

It's amazing the simplicity through which children view their entire world. Everything about life is new and raw and intentional. While our weekend was packed with Easter eggs, candy, family, friends, and long distance phone calls, Sydney took a moment to remind me the true reason for Easter in a way that only Sydney can.

Friday morning we sat on my bed, and I was brushing her long sparkling hair. Aeden said that he didn't understand why they had such a big break from school when Easter was on a day that they already have off. I seized the opportunity to explain the truth of Easter once again. I wasn't sure what reaction they would have, but I wanted to be certain that they understood it.

I was fairly graphic. I don't want my kids to think that what went on that day was anything other than horrific and heroic. I don't want them to grow up with the prettied up, air brushed, toned down version of what JESUS did for us. Then again, I don't want any part of their walk with CHRIST to be anything but just as new, raw, and intentional as everything else that they encounter throughout the day.

 Aeden interrupts my monologue. "Yissy! Are you crying?" he states.

She responds, "Why do they have to do that to HIM every year? Why do they have to hurt HIM all of the time like that Mommy? Why can't we make them stop?"

The tears were all mine this time around. As I cradled her on my lap and looked into her pooling brown eyes, I explained that JESUS died one time, but that we remember what HE did and we celebrate HIS resurrection. I explained that "they" didn't hurt HIM, but that we hurt HIM when we turn from HIM or sin or deny the truth of who HE really is.

It was a beautiful moment in our little speck on the earth. My middle baby, my mini-me, my tough exteriored teddy bear of a princess, "got it" for the first time. I believe that in my simple retelling of events, JESUS became more real to her than HE ever had before. Then again, I never have seen a 4 year old that wanted to speak in tongues quite as badly. Maybe next year at Easter I'll be the proud mama of two tongue talkers...

I Really Stepped In It This Time!

Ella woke up from her afternoon nap yesterday with a fever. She had no other symptoms, but her poor, sweet face almost looked like she had cooked in the sun. Tylenol brought it down, and she was soon playing with her brother and sister as if nothing had been wrong. She even had the spunk to terrorize Mimi and Pappy's dog, and we had a great time listening to her order, "Mithhhhhhh. Hey Mithhhhhhhh!"
We went to church, and she was still doing really well. Then, it happened. She was happily walking down an aisle when she just plopped down and began to scream. I picked her up and she was on fire. This time, we opted for the heavy hitter. The Motrin, along with a cold compress, did the trick until about 3:30am.
She woke up miserable, and we gave her the next course of meds. She sprawled on the bed, and we talked as she went from pained to pleasant. Sydney came in the room at some point, and Allen asked her to go back to bed so she wouldn't get "sicky bugs". Ella finally got an appetite around 4 am. She wolfed down two servings of jell-o with pineapple, a banana, two cups of water, a cup of milk, and half a yogurt. Take that Mr. Fever!
I was singing to her, and after a few rounds of "Hush Little Baby" and "This Little Light Of Mine" she was feeling much better. It was then that the real silliness occurred. I sang out "No more fevers...no more pain!" to the tune of the song Freedom. She sang right back, "No more sickies...I am Feeeeeeeee-dum!" I don't think Allen and I have ever laughed that hard. Well, at least not at 4:30 in the morning.
So, Ella is snug as a bug, and I decide it's in my favor to at least get my palms on the foreheads of the big kids. I discover them both on the couch. They must have been fairly concerned. Aeden seems fine, and I cover him up with a blanket. As I reach down to cover Sydney, I step in something. My first thought was that I had somehow knocked over a drink that they had on the floor. It's common for them to bring water to the living room despite my protests. Still, this felt a little too slimy to be water. So, I must admit, in the dark of the early morning...I smelled it. Poor Miss Squid was sick, too. She had thrown up on the floor, and her little forehead was quite warm also. After stacking her hair into a big pony tail on her head and getting her cleaned up, her only concerns were:
1. I hope my Ellie feels better soon because sicky bugs are no fun.
2. I need to get better so I can see Kaiya at Grammie Pepper's Easter Egg Hunt tomorrow.
Behold the pressures of life as a four year old.
Now, everyone is sound asleep, with the exception of me, but I've already claimed the crown of the insomniac queen. I hope that you drifted peacefully into dreamland last night, and that you had a restful evening lacking surprises. Well, maybe not good surprises, but at least lacking the type of surprises that one may step in while walking through a dark house.

Memories and Anticipation

I'm ashamed to admit that I am just now beginning to get really excited about our new addition. I've been excited, but not like I am now. Between throwing up, being exhausted, and the one million daily responsibilities of life, I just hadn't really taken the time to truly appreciate what is taking place within me. Now, we're less than 9 weeks from baby's debut, and I'm about ready to jump out of my skin.

I'm not freaking out about getting things done around the house, though GOD knows I should be. I'm not concerned about the tons of things that we have to purchase to bring a baby home, and I'm not all together worried about family dynamic shifts or labor and delivery. It's not that type of thing at all. It's a true excitement and joy that comes from the depths of my heart and pours out across my face.

See, my love story is pretty unique to say the very least. My husband and I, though we'd had *relationships* in the past, chose a completely different path for our relationship with one another. We became friends just over a year ago. Our first date was our honeymoon, and our first kiss was at the alter the day that we were married. From the date that he proposed to the date that we were married, it was approximately one month. It was a crazy whirlwind of preparation and excitement, but I couldn't wait to simply hold his hand...because I never had.

We got married August 22, 2009. I am 31 weeks pregnant. If you figure that out, then I'm sure you'll see how quickly this pregnancy happened. It was something that both of us wanted, but neither of us expected it to happen so quickly. The morning that we found out that we were pregnant, I was so anxious that I woke up around 3am to take a test. I blinked at the stick repeatedly, but it appeared to be negative. I walked to the bedroom, handed it to my half asleep husband, and stated, "It's negative." He wrapped his arms around me, and we both fell back to sleep.

Later that morning when we woke up, he looked at the test again. Apparently in my sleepy stupor I had misread the test. There were clearly enough lines on the stick to mean that I was pregnant. We just sort of stared at each other in unbelief. I can't remember much else of what happened. It was almost an out of body experience.

Since then, we've been busy educating ourselves on home birth, dreaming of all of the things that we'll do with our little one as they grow, and trying to decipher whether we're having a boy or a girl. How exciting is it to just wait and see for yourself!? I know that my husband wants a boy very badly. The emotions of girls can scare him a bit from time to time, and he doesn't feel as secure in his ability to raise a girl. I can't help but to feel differently than he does. I know two little girls that happen to think he's one of the greatest people in the world, and he does an amazing job ushering them along life's path.

We've slammed into a lot of obstacles throughout our marriage, and though it's been different than we expected, I'm thankful for the way that GOD is strengthening us individually and as a unit. Some days I feel as though I'll never get it right, like if I screw up one more thing in our marriage he's going to have to trade me in. Then, he reminds me that I'm being a little over dramatic about not having breakfast made and that he's pretty sure he still loves me. ;)

I'm ready for this birth, this baby, this new chapter in all of our lives. I want to plunge head first into this step of motherhood, and I have never felt this way before. It's as if everything is as it should be, and because of that, all is well.

I hope that you have a day filled with peace, love, and unity within your family-but also within yourself. Don't ever forget that you are so much more than you believe yourself to be, and even when it feels like you can't take take one more blow, you can. I wish, I had something much more eloquent to say, but when it comes down to it, this pep talk is probably only for my benefit anyhow.

Friday

I am so excited for today. I'm exhausted, my head is pounding, but I woke up so excited that I could barely wait to jump out of bed. There are several exciting events on our agenda today.

1. The girls meet with their teacher today. She always brings something fun, exciting, and challenging. Last week we made homemade playdough, and this week she is bringing a recipe for edible homemade playdough. This was one of my favorite daycare memories. I can't wait to get my hands on it. Totally delicious.

2. Aeden has his first grade play today. It is "The Tale of Peter Rabbit". He gets to share a riddle all by himself. Q: What do you get from a mixed up chicken? A: Scrambled eggs!! He's very excited. He's told us that we must sit in the front row and bring the video camera. For someone so afraid of the spotlight, he's really taking this things seriously!

3. My husband only works until noon. He's in great spirits as a result. He came home from early morning prayer with a large hot chocolate for me, and he's been chuckling and being his usual "Saturday self". I love it when he's happy, and with everything that's happened as of late...it's pretty easy to get down on ourselves.

4. The weekend starts now. Though Aeden will be away this weekend (and that totally rots) we're way close to Sunday (and that totally rocks).

Here's to you and yours. I hope that you have a spectacular weekend and phenomenal Friday.