Monday, January 21, 2013

One Of The Reasons Why God Will Never Use Me

I've been married before.  I've been divorced before.  I'm now remarried.  Because of this, God will never use me.  Don't worry about the fact that I was faithful to my marriage and that I stood strong through multiple affairs and that my marriage ended when my children and I were thrown out on the street when my exhusband knocked me to the floor and kicked me in the face because he was out all night drinking and couldn't bear the thought of caring for our children while I worked 1 full-time job, 2 part-time jobs, and went to school full-time.  I've been married before.  I've been divorced before.  I'm now remarried.  This is one of the reasons that God will never use me.

How do I know that God will never use me?  It's because you took the time to pull me aside.  You told me that divorced people could never be used in ministry.  You told me that I had no business talking to married women because I didn't know what a great marriage looked like.  It didn't matter that people talked about how henpecked your husband was or the fact that you made it known that you would go years without being intimate because your marriage "just wasn't like that", you aren't divorced so God can use you - but not me.

I know this because you told me so.  You crippled me with your words that cut me so deeply that for the longest time I wondered if I should even be in church.  

While God whispered, "I have huge plans for you", all I could hear were your hateful, spiteful words.  

When God gave me visions of what was to come, all I could see were the whispers on your lips and the condemnation in your eyes.

Wherever God directed me, you managed to step in, working equally hard to destroy anything that I might accomplish.

Then I realized that my biggest sin, and the reason that God might not use me was because I had put you before God.  

It was then that I put down your hateful words, I shook off the looks, and I pushed harder when you spun the wheel of deception.  It was then that God began to use me, and while your attack still raged - it didn't matter anymore.  Do you know why?  

It's simply because God is a good God, and His will always wins.

I leave you with this bit of encouragement.  If you wish to do what God wants you to do, you must be willing to point to the good (to the God) inside of others.

Lift someone up today.  Tell someone why God is going to use them, how you see God using them, and what you plan to do to help them.

Be encouraged!
Proverbs 10:11 The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life: but violence covereth the mouth of the wicked.